My mother always told me that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
It’s too bad that I didn’t listen to her.
See, I’ve got a very mature for her age sixteen-year-old daughter, a highly autistic five-year-old son, and a husband who’s always at work. Somewhere in the middle lies my extremely talkative nine-year-old. We live a stressful life. Sometimes I forget that my sixteen-year-old is still a child only to remember after massive garbage has flown out of my mouth.
That’s on me.
Perhaps I need more adult interaction?
I believe they call them friends?
Just think on it…you can let me know later.
Anyways, here’s a list of things I wish I hadn’t said out loud!
It feels good to finally get it out of my system.
-I’m Considering Putting Tabasco Sauce on Your Brother’s Pee Wee if He Doesn’t Stop Touching It
-Sh!t Happens Just Deal with It
-Don’t Ever Wake Me Up Without Coffee Again
-I Swear Your Dad Has No Idea What’s Going On
-I’m pretty sure your sister is a compulsive liar.
-Anybody Who Wears White After Labor Day Is Tacky. End of Story.
– Your Sister’s Room Looks Like a Crime Scene
-Seriously, Why Is Your Brother Obsessed With His Weiner?
-If That Woman Won A Million Dollars, She Would Complain About The Paperwork
-OMG It’s Your Grandmother BLOCK THAT CALL
-Put Your Phone Down NOW, or I’ll Run Over the Damn Thing In the Driveway
-Real Ladies Don’t Curse Damn It
-Put Your Seat Belt On, or I’ll Kill You
-If I Have To Pull Another Care Bear Out of The Microwave, I’ll Lose My Mind
-That Better Be Chocolate On The Wall. As God Is My Witness I’ll Never Touch Poop Again!
-If You Don’t Answer Your Phone, I’m Going To Go Lifetime Movie On Your A@s
-I Can Make A Psycho Look Like Mary Freakin Poppins… Don’t Test Me
-If You Don’t Clean Your Bathroom, I’m Going To Post Pictures Of It On Facebook
And the one thing I swore I’d never say if I had a daughter, because my mother said it to me many times…
YOU’RE SO UNGRATEFUL!!!!!!